I won't eat anything with googly eyes

The difference between vegetarians and vegans is that vegetarians don't eat meat for whatever reason, whereas vegans don't eat animal products for strictly moral reasons. What this means is that to be a vegan, you have to do a lot of research before you eat anything.

If you're a vegan and you accidentally eat a mint, and this mint is made of a type of gelatin in pig feet, then guess what? You're going to hell. Or...I don't know what you do, but you should be ashamed of yourself.

Usually the vegan diet comes down to, 'Did any part of this food come from something that had a face? If so, don't eat it.'

I'd like to get a bunch of vegetables together and put googly eyes on them, then put a sign up above them that says, 'What now, vegans?'

...though I'm sure their response would be something like:
'I'm not eating those.'
'Why's that, vegan? Can't eat vegetables now that they have a FACE?'
'No, you attached those googly eyes with glue, you ass.'

See, I thought googly eyes were self adhesive, but after an embarrassing amount of time spent researching googly eyes for sale online, I learned that glue is now the googly eye adhesive of choice.

You learn something new every day. However, nobody said it was going to be interesting.

(work.)