Chewing tobacco: It's that good
Today I saw an ad for Grizzly Chewing Tobacco. It was just a picture of chewing tobacco with the words 'IT'S THAT GOOD,' under the Grizzly logo.
The problem is they aren't telling you what 'that' refers to. If they had a picture of a guy selling his house to buy some chewing tobacco, it's that good.
If there was another ad where a woman renounced her Mormon faith for Grizzly Bear Chewing Tobacco and then went to hell for its fresh taste, then yes, it's that good.
And finally:
A man rushes into a burning building, then seconds later emerges out a second story window clutching a newborn baby. He lands safely with a smooth tuck and roll action and the crowd of onlookers cheers for this anonymous hero.
Then he rips the baby's head off to reveal that its neck is filled with delicious Grizzly Bear Chewing Tobacco. A woman screams.
It's that good.
(turkey.)
Anybody else have ad ideas for the fine folks at Grizzly Chewing Tobacco?
(Bonus: Proof that this stupid tag line really exists)
The problem is they aren't telling you what 'that' refers to. If they had a picture of a guy selling his house to buy some chewing tobacco, it's that good.
If there was another ad where a woman renounced her Mormon faith for Grizzly Bear Chewing Tobacco and then went to hell for its fresh taste, then yes, it's that good.
And finally:
A man rushes into a burning building, then seconds later emerges out a second story window clutching a newborn baby. He lands safely with a smooth tuck and roll action and the crowd of onlookers cheers for this anonymous hero.
Then he rips the baby's head off to reveal that its neck is filled with delicious Grizzly Bear Chewing Tobacco. A woman screams.
It's that good.
(turkey.)
Anybody else have ad ideas for the fine folks at Grizzly Chewing Tobacco?
(Bonus: Proof that this stupid tag line really exists)
Labels: advertising, chewing tobacco, grammar, grizzly chewing tobacco
posted by Henry at 11:58 PM
6 Comments:
Ah, I can see it all unraveling before me:
Two paratroopers fighting in the war (+10 for patriotism). They embrace as only life-long comrades would. One man takes a bit of chewing tobacco before he jumps, for good luck, and sticks the rest into his sack. His buddy takes a look at him, grabs the tobacco and his parachute and pushes him the hell out of the plane to plummet to his demise. (+10 for a pointless murder of an old friend over tobacco)
And yes my friend, it is THAT good.
(+10 because I said so)
I think even the government would get behind that ad.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, liberal media. The death toll in the Middle East isn't so high because of bad planning and a lack of body armor. It's just that old army friends keep killing each other over this chewing tobacco that, for some reason, is readily available in Iraq."
Where are you going to spend your 30 points?
Why, I am going to by a pony, of course!
(take that you commies!)
Because commies...hate...ponies?
Well, see, commies eat horse meat (that may or may not be true, but for the sake of my argument; yes, they definently do). And the more ponies I buy, the less there is for the commies to eat. Lack of proper equine-provided nutrition will force entire empires to be stomped out..
..by horses.
Ya know, the Wikipedia article on the Fall of the Soviet Union doesn't mention horses explicitly, but the equine subtext is undeniable.
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