Stay out of my apartment, blind burglars

Because a large amount of the student population of Ann Arbor is going to be out of town this weekend for Thanksgiving, I realize that this is a great time to get robbed. As I hang out in my apartment alone, I know that at any moment the door may creak open or a window may shatter and I will have to run to the kitchen, grab a large knife and stab somebody.

So while everybody's out enjoying a bar night tonight, I'm relaxing here, waiting for my girlfriend to get into town, knowing full well that I may have to shove a steak knife into a burglar's chest at the drop of a hat (a hat that apparently tells me when to stab people).

Now that I think about it, though, my lights are on, so I probably won't get burgled unless the burglar is blind and unable to sense differences in light.

Basically what I'm saying is that I may have to stab a blind man tonight. It's not pretty (or likely), but it's something I'm willing to accept.

(chillaxin'.)

I'll be ready. I've been beating up on blind people for weeks now. Ya know, for practice.