Every meal she made with her robot hands

From a package of Marie Callender's 51g-of-fat fettucine alfredo (plus nuggets of truth):

Marie Callender was like a lot of grandmas (with morbidly obese grandkids). She put her love ('fat') and care ('sodium') into every meal she made (with her robot hands), using only the finest ingredients (off the assembly line) and her own special touches (a $3 price tag). Today, at Marie Callender's (windowless factory), each homestyle meal (to be covered in plastic and reheated in a microwave) is still made the same way (as all other food made in a factory). So, sit down (on the floor of your dorm room) . . . eat (alone) . . . enjoy (getting diarrhea)!

(bed.)

My hatred for Marie Callender's tricky advertising inspired me enough to sit in front of the computer and transcribe the writing on the back of a box of frozen pasta and then insert my own snarky comments. That's dedication. And sad. Mostly sad.