Ugly women use leaf blowers

I think that, with women, there's a positive correlation between how ugly you are and how often you use a leaf blower.

Let me explain. Yesterday I was walking to work and I saw a woman operating a leaf blower. 'That's odd,' I thought, 'I've never seen a woman operating a leaf blower before.' Then I took a closer look and it all made sense. This woman had wicked Nightmare Face.

Now I feel like I should backpedal because I don't know if any of my lady friends have leaf blown before. I may have just made a few ladies sad for leaf blowing, but I don't have the time needed to just ask everyone beforehand, ya know?

That'd take too much time. If you blow leaves, chances are you're not attractive. Sorry, leaf-blowin' ladies.

(12 hours o' work.)

I think if women want to seduce men by doing labor, they should stick to washing cars and dressing up like French maids.

One time I went to a bikini car wash and hoo boy, let me tell you, those women did a terrible job. They just rubbed their soapy breasts against my windshield while I sat inside my car thinking Come ON, I'm late for dinner. Use a sponge, already! Oh Christ, keep your bathing suit on and just wash my car!

Needless to say, ever since then I've stayed home and washed my own car in a bikini. Saves money and gives me something to talk about with the neighbors.