Bad news you can understand

Knowing about computers in a world where most people do not means you've got to give a lot of bad news to people who don't understand what they've done.

I think that we, as tech people, should explain to them what they've done in their terms.

For example, 'You've let IE install too many toolbars so your system is slow' would become 'You left your front door and now animals have crapped all over the inside of your house.'

'Norton is why your computer takes so long to start up' becomes 'You've paid a lot of money for something that's difficult to remove to bog you down. You've glued silver chainmail to your chest when all you needed was a light jacket.'

And finally, 'Your system is filled with so many viruses it can't even boot so we have to reformat,' becomes 'You've ruined your life so badly should probably kill yourself and hope you come back as somebody less stupid.'

(work.)

And if you don't believe in reincarnation, you shouldn't own a computer.