Verizon shall ruin all long-distance relationships

Cell phones will cause more fights in a long distance relationship than anything else.

You know a relationship is having trouble when both people start saying things like, 'I'm sorry' all the time and it seems like the other person doesn't listen to you anymore. But the thing with cell phones is, you end up saying shit like, 'I'm sorry, honey, I couldn't hear you,' all the time, so both people end up sounding like apologetic deaf people.

They say communication is the most important thing in a relationship, and if you both of you have bad cell phone service providers, you are fucked. I don't care how compatible you are: if you're getting less than three service bars, you're going to come off as a dick. It'll be like you and your lover have to speak to each other through a McDonald's drive thru window, and that's just fucked up.

(Class.)

And you better make sure you're with the same service provider or there's no way you two are lasting.