Meet my crappy car

I hate having to introduce my car to new people. 'Yeah, that's my car. It's kinda balding all over. And the tape deck doesn't work. And the front windows don't roll up or down. And one time it rained and my windows were stuck down and the carpet got all wet so now the car kinda smells like mold. And the math teacher I had in 7th grade owned that while he was dating my mom while I was in 11th grade, so they may have fooled around in the back seat. So, hop in, Person Who's Riding In My Car For the First Time. It'll be great.'

I tell bits of info as needed, though. 'Sorry, no drive through. Busted windows' or 'sorry about the smell. yeah, moldy carpet.' Then I tell them the math teacher stuff so the car has more character, because maybe imagining an older man screwing in the back seat will take their mind off the balding paint job and all the dents.

(eating Livonia for dinner. all of it.)