Henry, Lord of the Thermostat
Whenever I consult, I'm going to keep a log of the types of questions I get. On Monday, almost half of them were office-supplies-related.
Another popular question was: 'Can you change the temperature in here? It's really cold!' And you know what I want to say to that?
'Yes, lady, I can change the temperature because I am HENRY, LORD OF THE THERMOSTAT, but I love it when it's so cold that my balls retreat to the middle of my abdomen, so it looks like you're just going to have to check Facebook while icicles form on your mustache.'
People also ask for pens a lot. That makes me wonder if they came to the computer lab completely unprepared. 'I need a pen because I have nothing. Will you wipe my ass?' Drawing a swastika on the plush dinosaur pen looks better and better every day.
(Roving, 8am to 6pm.)
Another popular question was: 'Can you change the temperature in here? It's really cold!' And you know what I want to say to that?
'Yes, lady, I can change the temperature because I am HENRY, LORD OF THE THERMOSTAT, but I love it when it's so cold that my balls retreat to the middle of my abdomen, so it looks like you're just going to have to check Facebook while icicles form on your mustache.'
People also ask for pens a lot. That makes me wonder if they came to the computer lab completely unprepared. 'I need a pen because I have nothing. Will you wipe my ass?' Drawing a swastika on the plush dinosaur pen looks better and better every day.
(Roving, 8am to 6pm.)
Labels: dinosaur pen, fishbowl
posted by Henry at 7:43 AM
2 Comments:
Trash can fires are looking better every day, too.
Wait.. you'll wipe my ass?
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