Don't ask me about being a graduate yet

So now that I'm graduated, the big 'I don't know you very well, but I want to talk to you anyway' question is 'How's it feel to be graduated?'

However, it's summertime, so this is a bad question to be asking. I wouldn't be in class anyway, so it's not like being graduated has any effect on my life right now.

Pretend for a moment that your friend Dave just got fired from his job on a Friday. On Saturday, you give him a call and say, 'Oh man, what's it like not having a job? Must be really weird, man. What are you going to do with the rest of your life now?'
But the thing is, Dave doesn't work on Saturdays anyway. He sleeps in and watches TV in his underpants, so his routine hasn't changed. Your question was too early. Ask him on Monday.

So I know you may be giddy to ask me about what being a college graduate is like, but I don't know yet. Ask me about it in September.

(Kroger.)

If you couldn't figure it out, I'm like Dave. Only he watches cartoons in his underpants, and I watch cartoons in the nude. On the communal couch in the basement. While slathering my body in other people's peanut butter.

I hope the summer subletters read this.