Spoiled bitches, the C word

You ever watch something on TV out of pure hatred?

I stumbled upon My Super Sweet 16 on MTV last night. The show's called that because rich girls celebrate their 16th birthdays in a super sweet kind of way. However, they could convey a more accurate sense of what the show's about by calling it Spoiled Cunts Obsess Over Petty Shit (or SCOOPS, because I just accidentally made an acronym.)

One girl asked her dad to get Eminem for her party, then thought her dad actually got Eminem (she asked her dad if her guest was from Detroit and her dad said he wasn't telling.) Then when some random guy performed a song he wrote for her, she started crying.

Then her dad got her a car that cost more than my college tuition. At the end, she summed up the evening by saying tearfully, 'I got a car, and I am, like, a totally new person.'

Apparently New Car + Cunt = New Person and not just Mobile Cunt.

(Saucers.)

I know a lot of women don't like the word "cunt," but if you were to watch this girl use her catchphrase, "that's juicy," not only would you start throwing around the word "cunt" like it's a frisbee at a Sunday picnic, but you'd start to hate white people.

Now, I'm as white as the night is not, and I saw this girl go "Oh my God I love that expensive French dress! Too bad I can't get it. I thought Paris was known for fashion," and I was ready to join the Black Panthers.

You see this overly elaborate birthday party and you think, "GODDAMN IT WHITE PEOPLE JUST GET A CAKE." Or at least I did, but I'm notoriously pro-cake.