Hiding garbage in a Blue Cab
Anybody here ever call the Ann Arbor Blue Cab? Because you should never, ever call Ann Arbor Blue Cab.
I was going from the train station to work and I had to get there within 45 minutes. So I call them, they say they'll be there in 15, then in about 45 minutes they show up and a guy just comes out and says 'hey.'
He may as well have said, 'Hey, you call a blue cab? 'Cause we didn't take down your name or phone number, so we basically have no way to identify you, so yeah, get in.'
As I'm riding in his hoopty I realized I had no way to get revenge on this guy for making me late to work. I couldn't refuse to tip him because that's directly mean and I was already late so calling in and complaining would just make me later, so I decided the only thing I could do would be to hide garbage in his car.
Unfortunately, I'd used a trash can earlier, so my stockpile of pocket garbage was depleted. But from now on, I'm carrying garbage with me to punish people I don't like but have to deal with anyway.
(nap.)
On my way out of the Blue Cab, I tried to squeeze out a fart. Any cab driver who stores my luggage in a dirty trunk lined with blankets deserves to smell poop air for a few seconds to a couple minutes, depending on what I ate.
I doubt people would make the connection between the strategically hidden garbage and their crappy service. Bad waitresses will get a fair tip, but I'm taking all the sugar packets I can fit in my pockets and then hiding gum wrappers in the ketchup bottle. That way, the next group of people to sit at that table will be treated to a small pile of Bazooka Joe comics on their french fries and that bitch waitress well get a bad tip from someone other than me.
I was going from the train station to work and I had to get there within 45 minutes. So I call them, they say they'll be there in 15, then in about 45 minutes they show up and a guy just comes out and says 'hey.'
He may as well have said, 'Hey, you call a blue cab? 'Cause we didn't take down your name or phone number, so we basically have no way to identify you, so yeah, get in.'
As I'm riding in his hoopty I realized I had no way to get revenge on this guy for making me late to work. I couldn't refuse to tip him because that's directly mean and I was already late so calling in and complaining would just make me later, so I decided the only thing I could do would be to hide garbage in his car.
Unfortunately, I'd used a trash can earlier, so my stockpile of pocket garbage was depleted. But from now on, I'm carrying garbage with me to punish people I don't like but have to deal with anyway.
(nap.)
On my way out of the Blue Cab, I tried to squeeze out a fart. Any cab driver who stores my luggage in a dirty trunk lined with blankets deserves to smell poop air for a few seconds to a couple minutes, depending on what I ate.
I doubt people would make the connection between the strategically hidden garbage and their crappy service. Bad waitresses will get a fair tip, but I'm taking all the sugar packets I can fit in my pockets and then hiding gum wrappers in the ketchup bottle. That way, the next group of people to sit at that table will be treated to a small pile of Bazooka Joe comics on their french fries and that bitch waitress well get a bad tip from someone other than me.
Labels: awful people, farts
posted by Henry at 7:53 AM
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