Volcano diarrhea and the first chat room
Today, while riding a train back from Chicago, I ate a microwave cheeseburger from the cafe car.
The microwave cheeseburger is one of those inventions that probably seemed really clever at first.
'I've found a way to make a cheeseburger hot and ready to eat in less than two minutes! I'll sell this idea and get rich!'
Then he'd actually eat the microwave cheeseburger and, an hour later, he'd poop lava while muttering, 'What have I done? I just wanted to help mankind, not give it volcano diarrhea.'
Bastard cost 5 dollars, too.
(bed.)
The same process of well intentions and deep regret happened with many other inventions. Albert Einstein talked about splitting atoms or whatever, then they made a bomb and he was sad. Scott Chatroom, inventor of the chat room, at first thought, "People can finally meet on the internet and discuss things intellectually!" then soon people were swapping pornography and calling each other fags.
The very first chat room conversation went like this:
MeInventedChatRooms has joined the first chat room
Intern8235 has joined the first chat room
MeInventedChatRooms: Hello? Is this working? Wow, after years of work, here we are!
Intern8235: hay scott, ya wuts ^?
MeInventedChatRooms: Wow, this is incredible!
Intern8235: wutevr. u want porn? s2r
MeInventedChatRooms: I'm afraid I don't understand, intern.
sK8RbOiDooD182 has joined the first chat room
sK8RbOiDooD182: Wut up? U got porn? press 555
Intern8235: 555
MeInventedChatRooms: How did you get in here, sk8rboi? Hello? What's happening?
SLAYERdeathSTAB has joined the first chat room
SLAYERdeathSTAB: u guys r fags
Intern8235: fuk u homo
MeInventedChatRooms: Anybody want to talk about photosynthesis?
sK8RbOiDooD182: I did ur mom fag
SLAYERdeathSTAB has left the first chat room
sK8RbOiDooD182 has left the first chat room
Intern8235 has left the first chat room
MeInventedChatRooms: Um, can I uninvent this?
MeInventedChatRooms has left the first chat room
Scott Chatroom went with the screen name "MeInventedChatRooms" because "IInventedChatRooms" repeats the I's too soon and it looks confusing. "MeInvented" is obviously the next logical option.
The microwave cheeseburger is one of those inventions that probably seemed really clever at first.
'I've found a way to make a cheeseburger hot and ready to eat in less than two minutes! I'll sell this idea and get rich!'
Then he'd actually eat the microwave cheeseburger and, an hour later, he'd poop lava while muttering, 'What have I done? I just wanted to help mankind, not give it volcano diarrhea.'
Bastard cost 5 dollars, too.
(bed.)
The same process of well intentions and deep regret happened with many other inventions. Albert Einstein talked about splitting atoms or whatever, then they made a bomb and he was sad. Scott Chatroom, inventor of the chat room, at first thought, "People can finally meet on the internet and discuss things intellectually!" then soon people were swapping pornography and calling each other fags.
The very first chat room conversation went like this:
MeInventedChatRooms has joined the first chat room
Intern8235 has joined the first chat room
MeInventedChatRooms: Hello? Is this working? Wow, after years of work, here we are!
Intern8235: hay scott, ya wuts ^?
MeInventedChatRooms: Wow, this is incredible!
Intern8235: wutevr. u want porn? s2r
MeInventedChatRooms: I'm afraid I don't understand, intern.
sK8RbOiDooD182 has joined the first chat room
sK8RbOiDooD182: Wut up? U got porn? press 555
Intern8235: 555
MeInventedChatRooms: How did you get in here, sk8rboi? Hello? What's happening?
SLAYERdeathSTAB has joined the first chat room
SLAYERdeathSTAB: u guys r fags
Intern8235: fuk u homo
MeInventedChatRooms: Anybody want to talk about photosynthesis?
sK8RbOiDooD182: I did ur mom fag
SLAYERdeathSTAB has left the first chat room
sK8RbOiDooD182 has left the first chat room
Intern8235 has left the first chat room
MeInventedChatRooms: Um, can I uninvent this?
MeInventedChatRooms has left the first chat room
Scott Chatroom went with the screen name "MeInventedChatRooms" because "IInventedChatRooms" repeats the I's too soon and it looks confusing. "MeInvented" is obviously the next logical option.
posted by Henry at 7:43 AM
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