Chewing tobacco: It's that good

Today I saw an ad for Grizzly Chewing Tobacco. It was just a picture of chewing tobacco with the words 'IT'S THAT GOOD,' under the Grizzly logo.

The problem is they aren't telling you what 'that' refers to. If they had a picture of a guy selling his house to buy some chewing tobacco, it's that good.

If there was another ad where a woman renounced her Mormon faith for Grizzly Bear Chewing Tobacco and then went to hell for its fresh taste, then yes, it's that good.

And finally:
A man rushes into a burning building, then seconds later emerges out a second story window clutching a newborn baby. He lands safely with a smooth tuck and roll action and the crowd of onlookers cheers for this anonymous hero.

Then he rips the baby's head off to reveal that its neck is filled with delicious Grizzly Bear Chewing Tobacco. A woman screams.

It's that good.

(turkey.)

Anybody else have ad ideas for the fine folks at Grizzly Chewing Tobacco?

(Bonus: Proof that this stupid tag line really exists)

Jesus puns to sell shoe repair

From an ad in the Olive Branch Press:

'Do your shoes look like this?
(clip art of cartoon shoe)
We will heel for you
We will save your soul (sic)
We will dye for you'

This ad cracks me up because it's obviously just making Jesus puns in order to sell shoe repair, and in doing so it trivializes Christianity.

'Hey, remember that time Jesus was tortured and crucified for the sins of humanity? How about we say that we'll dye for people? That way it sounds kind of like Jesus being mounted to a cross, only this time we're coloring shoes.'

'And let's not learn homophones and accidentally tell people we'll save their souls.'

'Great idea, Other Guy Who Wrote the Ad. We rock at shoe care and respecting religion.'

(Bed.)

These people italicized their puns, too, which is a good sign that they're really proud of themselves for being so clever. This results in them saying, "We'll save your soul, get it? Like a shoe." Only there's no one there to say, "You moron, that's the soul that lives in your chest and flies away when you die, not the one on your shoe."