The Devil gets lazy
I think being the Devil must be really hard sometimes. Someone asks you for something and you have to find a way to twist it into something terrible. Like if some guy asks for the world's fastest car, you have to give him a car that's so fast he'll undoubtedly crash it.
But you ever think the Devil stops caring?
'Wow, the Devil, you made me the richest man on the planet, but where's the cruel irony? Wait a minute...am I gay now? Is that it?
...That doesn't even make any sense. That's not ironic. That's just lazy. You can't just make people gay when they ask for something.
You're losing your edge, the Devil.'
(work.)
Yep, I'm running late, so that's why that was so stupid.
Also, this post got me thinking about the devil, evil genies, and leprechauns all share a propensity for cruel irony. Well, I've used the word "propensity," so I'll stop now and end on a smart note.
But you ever think the Devil stops caring?
'Wow, the Devil, you made me the richest man on the planet, but where's the cruel irony? Wait a minute...am I gay now? Is that it?
...That doesn't even make any sense. That's not ironic. That's just lazy. You can't just make people gay when they ask for something.
You're losing your edge, the Devil.'
(work.)
Yep, I'm running late, so that's why that was so stupid.
Also, this post got me thinking about the devil, evil genies, and leprechauns all share a propensity for cruel irony. Well, I've used the word "propensity," so I'll stop now and end on a smart note.
posted by Henry at 6:52 AM
3 Comments:
Or it's like this movie I saw once about a leprechaun that would spin shit that someone wished. You had to guess and clarify every single angle. Like if I said, "I wish I had a million dollars." He would pull a Mephisto and say, "Sure, you can have the million dollars. However you have to pull it bill by bill out of your best friend's ass, and he doesn't even know he has a million dollars in there! Goodluck, fuck guppy!"
I'm really not sure which I was alluding to: Leprechauns or comic books. Maybe this trickery shit is everywhere. We live in a corrupt world, Hen. Can I call you Hen? I'm doing it anyway.
I imagine that scenario would have some interesting conversations as a result:
“Scott, I, uh, need to do something. I need you to just let me do it and for the love of God, don’t ask why.”
“What are you talking about, Dave?”
“Scott, I need you to take off your pants.”
“…Dave?”
“Just take off your pants, Scott. Trust me.”
“Why the hell do you want me to take off my pants?”
“There’s a million dollars in your asshole. We can split it.”
“There’s no fucking way there’s a million dollars in my ass.”
“Look, just trust me. I swear to God there’s a million dollars in there, and if there’s not, I’ll give you twenty bucks.”
“Well, alright, Dave. But you’re fucking creeping me out.”
Then, if you’re the Devil, you can throw in extra torture by making the million dollars only look like a million dollars to the wisher, not the best friend. Hilarity.
(I’m really tired, so sorry if this is stupid.)
Haha, you both got me to laugh out loud. It brings me joy to see Internet Friend Dexter collaborate with Real Life Friend Jeff.
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