Your child is a germ monster

This morning I saw a commercial that started off with a woman saying, 'You love your kids, but sometimes they can carry germs.' Then her son came home from school and suddenly his body was covered in multicolored germs. Then he touched a phone and the phone got germs, too. Then his little sister walked toward the infected phone and I yelled, 'No, Sis, don't do it!' at my TV.

Thankfully they showed a can of Lysol and said, 'But Lysol kills germs!' and then the mom sprayed Lysol on the phone and the germs went away. The commercial ended with something like, 'Buy Lysol because your kid is a fucking monster,' but I wasn't happy. The monster's still out there.

Why don't you spray your kid with the Lysol, lady? He's got germs on him and clearly he isn't bathing, so why not spray him down with your magic can of Lysol? Get it on his clothes, in his hair, and most importantly, in his eyes. That little shit's going to infect your whole house if you don't stop him, so blind him with Lysol and throw him outside, and whatever you do, don't let him back in.

He might have germs on him.

(work.)