I won some giant shoes
Yesterday I won a pair of shoes in a contest held by Microsoft, but there's a catch: I can't wear them.
A friend referred me to a LeBron James-themed contest where you can win 'A pair of Nike Zoom shoes' or 'A Zune with LeBron's playlist on it.' So I fill out the entry form and see a screen that says, 'Hey, you won Nike Zoom Shoes from Microsoft. Check your email for confirmation.' I got excited, because I could use some new shoes.
Then I get an email saying, 'You won a pair of size 16 shoes signed by LeBron James.'
Ah, crap. What the hell am I going to do with a pair of giant shoes?
I've got over two and a half months until they arrive, so I have time to figure out what I'll do with them. Here's my current List of Things To Do With a Giant Pair of Shoes:
(work.)
A friend referred me to a LeBron James-themed contest where you can win 'A pair of Nike Zoom shoes' or 'A Zune with LeBron's playlist on it.' So I fill out the entry form and see a screen that says, 'Hey, you won Nike Zoom Shoes from Microsoft. Check your email for confirmation.' I got excited, because I could use some new shoes.
Then I get an email saying, 'You won a pair of size 16 shoes signed by LeBron James.'
Ah, crap. What the hell am I going to do with a pair of giant shoes?
I've got over two and a half months until they arrive, so I have time to figure out what I'll do with them. Here's my current List of Things To Do With a Giant Pair of Shoes:
- Wear my regular shoes, then put on the giant shoes for extra shoe protection
- Raise children inside of them
- Climb inside of one of them and hop around the Mushroom Kingdom.
- Sell them on eBay to someone silly enough to want to pay for another person's giant autographed shoes
(work.)
Labels: comically large shoes, contest, LeBron James, Microsoft, nintendo, shoes, Super Mario Bros 3
posted by Henry at 7:24 AM
8 Comments:
Agent: "LeBron, sign these shoes. Microsoft is paying m--I mean, us--to give them away in a contest."
LeBron: "What's a micro soft?"
Funny for two reasons: Henry has no idea who LeBron is and no idea how much money he could get for said shoes.
I agree with that anonymous person. Sell the freaking shoes. You will be able to buy so many other illfitting shoes with this particular pair of illfitting shoes. Or you can mix things up and buy shoes that actually fit. Or you could buy a thousand dwarf shoes and chuck them at strangers. Why not? Is there some law in this world that says you can't buy a dwarf shoes and chuck them at strangers? No. There isn't such a law. So fucking do it, and stop harassing people with your strange shoe problems.
Who knew you could offend so many people with a post about giant shoes? I mean if you said, "I'm all for euthaniasia and against pro-choice!" then it would all make sense.
I think this could be an escalating social issue.
...and it's all your fault.
donate them to the united Negro fund and videotape their reaction
I can't really picture what size 16 shoes look like, but if you could fit a small turkey in them I might be interested.
PS thanks for the red vs blue link almost as funny as your wd40 post lmao
I wear size 16 nike's.... we need to talk.
- Ryan
@everyone who suggested I sell them on eBay:
That's my final plan. I know who LeBron James is enough to know certain people will spend a lot of money on anything he touches.
Signed Nike shoes are the mint condition Han Solo action figures of the sports world: they serve no purpose other than for enthusiasts to slobber over them, oftentimes at a great price.
@my neighbor(?):
You're an evil genius. I'm glad you apparently live near me, whoever you are.
@Red Beans:
These shoes will be huge. They could fit a hiking boot stuffed with a sneaker stuffed with an ice skate stuffed with seven baby (or dwarf) shoes.
@everyone else:
This comment is already too long, so...yeah. Keep up the good work.
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