Clandestine mannequin coitus
When I was in 6th grade, a classmate used the word 'dildo.' When I asked him what it meant and he told me that a dildo was a mannequin's penis. Hmmm.
I thought about how I'd never been in a department store, seen a mannequin with a huge bulge in the pants he was modeling and thought, 'Wow, that mannequin sure has a huge penis.' If women were buying mannequin penises, did women secretly want to have sex with mannequins? Were women all over the world engaging in clandestine mannequin coitus? My world was crashing down.
Then I came to the conclusion that when the mannequin factory workers (mannequin-gineers?) make the mannequin, it has all its body parts, then before it leaves the mannequin factory the factory workers take its penis and put it in a bin with all the other mannequin penises so that ladies can buy them at the store later.
This is how dildos are made, or so I thought in 6th grade.
(work.)
I thought about how I'd never been in a department store, seen a mannequin with a huge bulge in the pants he was modeling and thought, 'Wow, that mannequin sure has a huge penis.' If women were buying mannequin penises, did women secretly want to have sex with mannequins? Were women all over the world engaging in clandestine mannequin coitus? My world was crashing down.
Then I came to the conclusion that when the mannequin factory workers (mannequin-gineers?) make the mannequin, it has all its body parts, then before it leaves the mannequin factory the factory workers take its penis and put it in a bin with all the other mannequin penises so that ladies can buy them at the store later.
This is how dildos are made, or so I thought in 6th grade.
(work.)
Labels: elementary school, sex, vocabulary
posted by Henry at 6:48 AM
3 Comments:
If you want real mannequin coitus, you have to rely upon the Germans.
http://bit.ly/Wznvj
Jesus. This makes me want to fall to my knees, look into the sky, and scream "No, Germany! Not again!" in the pouring rain.
The guy added boobies to a corpse. This is what's known as "bad science."
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