The time I wanted to throw a woman into traffic

Last night at the bar, my buddy Allen introduced me to a female friend of his, then he went to the bathroom or something. This left me alone with a stranger. Here's what happened:

Girl: 'One weekend I brought my 16 year old sister to a party on campus and some guy hit on her. I had to tell him she was 16 so he'd back off.'
Me: 'Yeah, it's awkward when someone's underage at a party. When you first get to college, you know everybody's legal so you don't have to worry about a girl's age 'cause they're all over 18. That's good to know.'
Girl (yelling loudly, in caps): 'HEY THIS GUY WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD'

Had my stomach been filled with alcohol, or "swearing fuel" as it's sometimes known, I would have yelled back something like, 'THIS GIRL HAS ABORTIONS FOR FUN' but I was sober so instead I just hated her silently.

That bitch.

(work.)

Whenever I meet somebody new I should immediately think of something terrible to yell about them just in case something like this ever happens again.