What dudes like

People want to be writers when they grow up because it sounds fun and easy. You just write. Write the words you use every day, only this time, adoring fans pay you to use them. And in our ideal worlds, we use words best, and everybody loves them, and they pay good money for them, and all you had to do was think the words and put them on paper and count your novel money.

Tonight I told some lady friends 'dudes like penetration.' Which got a laugh, but it's a FACT, people. I was there to educate and they just laughed at me. I gave them the secret to global domination and they took it as entertainment. Penetration will get you Planet Earth. Or at least an hourly fee. Plus tip.

Can you believe that you have to tip hookers? I mean, COME ON, I already gave you a ride. YOU should be paying ME.

(Bed.)