I set a terminally ill person on fire

In my 8th grade yearbook, someone wrote, 'First you live, and then you die, but in the end, we all get high.'

I don't think that's how it goes, Other Eighth Grader. I've never seen a man dying, and then just as his heart monitor is about to flatline, a priest comes out of nowhere and slow-motion-throws a lit joint into his mouth and says, 'Whew, just in time.'

I think if I ever had to throw a joint at a man in a hospital bed, I'd probably miss and just set him on fire. 'Oops,' I'd say, 'Just trying to get you high, like the rhyming eighth grader suggested seven years ago.'

So in today's away message I set a terminally ill person on fire. What did yours do for you today?

(Work, class, lab.)