Vikings on Segways
There's a handicapped parking spot outside my house and it shouldn't be there.
Which isn't to say that I hate the handicapped. You guys rock (and roll!), and it's cool if you guys get priority parking over my able-bodied ass.
However, the parking spot is there so a handicapped person could get into the Intramural Sports Building. And that's cool, you guys can play wheelchair basketball in there or whatever, but here's the catch:
The door to the IM building is fortified with steps. Tons of them. Like they're there to ward off Vikings on Segways. They'd come rolling up, waving swords and leaning forward, then they'd see all the steps and go home. 'To hell with this. Let's raid someplace wheelchair accessible.'
But Vikings aren't a threat anymore. So set up a ramp or move the parking space to the door that has one.
(Paper.)
Here's a picture of the entrance that so selfishly attracts the handicapped:
Step gauntlet for the disabled
I'm not even sure what the current PC term for "dude in a wheelchair" is these days. Handicapped? Disabled? Uprightly underpriveleged?
Personally, I want a term that's more endearing than one that highlights what someone can't do. That's why I'm in favor of something like "rolly friend" or "limpin' buddy." Take that difference in mobility and make it your pal.
All offensive euphemisms aside, I'd like to point out that all of this inappropriate talk about the handicapped was spurred because I've looked at that eternally unused handicapped parking in front of my house every time I've had to drive around the block for a half hour looking for a place to park. And I know it won't get used because dudes in wheelchairs don't play racquetball.
Tune in next away message when I bitch about how much I'm bothered by affirmative action, closed captioning, and those damn braille dots on ATM buttons.
Which isn't to say that I hate the handicapped. You guys rock (and roll!), and it's cool if you guys get priority parking over my able-bodied ass.
However, the parking spot is there so a handicapped person could get into the Intramural Sports Building. And that's cool, you guys can play wheelchair basketball in there or whatever, but here's the catch:
The door to the IM building is fortified with steps. Tons of them. Like they're there to ward off Vikings on Segways. They'd come rolling up, waving swords and leaning forward, then they'd see all the steps and go home. 'To hell with this. Let's raid someplace wheelchair accessible.'
But Vikings aren't a threat anymore. So set up a ramp or move the parking space to the door that has one.
(Paper.)
Here's a picture of the entrance that so selfishly attracts the handicapped:
Step gauntlet for the disabled
I'm not even sure what the current PC term for "dude in a wheelchair" is these days. Handicapped? Disabled? Uprightly underpriveleged?
Personally, I want a term that's more endearing than one that highlights what someone can't do. That's why I'm in favor of something like "rolly friend" or "limpin' buddy." Take that difference in mobility and make it your pal.
All offensive euphemisms aside, I'd like to point out that all of this inappropriate talk about the handicapped was spurred because I've looked at that eternally unused handicapped parking in front of my house every time I've had to drive around the block for a half hour looking for a place to park. And I know it won't get used because dudes in wheelchairs don't play racquetball.
Tune in next away message when I bitch about how much I'm bothered by affirmative action, closed captioning, and those damn braille dots on ATM buttons.
Labels: disabilities
posted by Henry at 1:58 PM
2 Comments:
What about someone who is handicapped who isn't in a wheelchair?
Eh, then you're still on crutches and hobbling up a mountain of steps to shoot free throws or...whatever one does in a gym while on crutches.
I dunno, I really should have brushed up on the different ways one can be handicapped before ranting about a parking space in front of my house.
Still, the fact remains that someone placed a handicapped parking space, something reserved for people who need increased accessibility, in front of a shitload of stairs. And I, being a petty college student, get mad that I can't park my jalopy closer to my house when all other spots are taken.
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