Less ice, amigo?
Sometimes I wish I'd taken Spanish. French is ok if you want to order a baguette in France, but Spanish is everywhere in America. I wish I had taken Spanish so that I could travel America and connect with more of its peoples, share ideas, and maybe get less ice in my fucking Pepsi at Wendy's.
If I could become friends with one of the guys at Wendy's, maybe they'd give me less ice. If you were at home and you got a drink for a friend and then filled it with a Wendy's-esque amount of ice, he'd swat it out of your hand and say 'What the fuck is wrong with you? That's too much ice.' You don't give friends that much ice.
So if I was all 'Hey Miguel, what up? I'll have a #3' in Spanish then they'd give me a fair amount of ice and I could live happier.
In conclusion, take Spanish for the sole reason of talking to fast food employees.
(Class.)
This is something I've seriously considered. And I'm not being racist here; the staff at the Wendy's in the Union is primarily Mexican. I feel like as long as I speak only English, I'll never be on their good side. So as long as I can't fluently say 'Hello friend, I like your ponytail today' I'll always be just another customer.
If I ever wanted to start being a (bigger) dick, I could start pouring people drinks consisting of 95% ice. Then I could hand a friend his Coke or whatever and he'd look at it and say, "You asshole, I can't fucking drink this. You've only slightly flavored all the goddamn ice." Then he'd look up at me and see that I'm wearing a Wendy's visor that I stole or something. Then we'd both laugh for a while, and later I'd have to go make the friend another drink.
Fun fact: The #3 combo is actually three patties of low grade meat and mortal humans (such as myself) usually aren't able to eat food reserved for Greek gods and the morbidly obese. However, I used the deadly #3 combo as an example order because if I said 'Hey Miguel, what up? I'll have a #2' people might think I want Miguel's poop.
This is ridiculous because not only do they not serve poop at Wendy's, but Miguel doesn't even exist. Sorry, Miguel. You are fiction.
If I could become friends with one of the guys at Wendy's, maybe they'd give me less ice. If you were at home and you got a drink for a friend and then filled it with a Wendy's-esque amount of ice, he'd swat it out of your hand and say 'What the fuck is wrong with you? That's too much ice.' You don't give friends that much ice.
So if I was all 'Hey Miguel, what up? I'll have a #3' in Spanish then they'd give me a fair amount of ice and I could live happier.
In conclusion, take Spanish for the sole reason of talking to fast food employees.
(Class.)
This is something I've seriously considered. And I'm not being racist here; the staff at the Wendy's in the Union is primarily Mexican. I feel like as long as I speak only English, I'll never be on their good side. So as long as I can't fluently say 'Hello friend, I like your ponytail today' I'll always be just another customer.
If I ever wanted to start being a (bigger) dick, I could start pouring people drinks consisting of 95% ice. Then I could hand a friend his Coke or whatever and he'd look at it and say, "You asshole, I can't fucking drink this. You've only slightly flavored all the goddamn ice." Then he'd look up at me and see that I'm wearing a Wendy's visor that I stole or something. Then we'd both laugh for a while, and later I'd have to go make the friend another drink.
Fun fact: The #3 combo is actually three patties of low grade meat and mortal humans (such as myself) usually aren't able to eat food reserved for Greek gods and the morbidly obese. However, I used the deadly #3 combo as an example order because if I said 'Hey Miguel, what up? I'll have a #2' people might think I want Miguel's poop.
This is ridiculous because not only do they not serve poop at Wendy's, but Miguel doesn't even exist. Sorry, Miguel. You are fiction.
posted by Henry at 12:43 PM
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