Fisty-fisting, trigonometry, perineum

3am, Pizza House:
Me; 'Ya know, in high school, everybody may not have been having sex, but they were all fisty-fist.'
Amy, with a horrified look on her face: 'fisty-fist?'
Me: 'I mean, um, there was a lot of -'
Our Waitress: 'Excuse me, lemme get these plates for you.'
Me: '- heavy petting. Thank you.'
Amy: '...'
Me: '...'
Waitress: (sound of picking up plates, silence)

And then I fisty-fisted the waitress.

There, I ended on a joke.

(Bed.)

I probably could have done without stating that the last statement was just a joke, but I'm sure a lot of younger kids have my screen name and the last thing I want is them thinking, "Oh no, internet man fisty-fists, whatever that is." I don't want to confuse them. (That's also why my away messages are never just a series of math equations.)

On second thought, I think I do want to confuse the 8th graders. Future away messages will use words uncommon to middle schoolers. And nothing else. Heck, let's start right now.

Rimming, trigonometry, felching, perineum (and grundle!), proletariat, evisceration, and teabagging.

There, that was like beat poetry for assholes. Wait, that was redundant. All beat poetry is for assholes.

So that was like beat poetry.