Vaginal cream from Grandpa
When my grandfather heard that I had dry skin, he left to retrieve a tube of cortizone cream in his suitcase upstairs. Minutes later, he returned to give me a tube of cortizone cream, only it wasn't regular cortizone cream.
It was vaginal cream. My grandfather had vaginal cream.
'It's great for jock itch,' he said.
'This is for vaginas, you crazy old man,' I thought.
'Thanks,' I said, putting the vaginal cream in my pocket and wondering why he didn't use non-vaginal cream for his dry skin.
Most grandparents just shower their graduated grandchildren with hugs, checks, and alumni t-shirts, but my grandfather went the extra mile and gave me cream for a vagina. Thanks, Grandpa!
(Work 'til 4ish.)
For the record, I love the shit out of my grandparents.
Also, this would have been a great way to call me a pussy. However, Grandpa's at that age where calling people pussies just isn't cool anymore. Plus he said "I use this stuff myself" which kind of ruins any "Here's some vaginal cream, you vagina" jokes.
It was vaginal cream. My grandfather had vaginal cream.
'It's great for jock itch,' he said.
'This is for vaginas, you crazy old man,' I thought.
'Thanks,' I said, putting the vaginal cream in my pocket and wondering why he didn't use non-vaginal cream for his dry skin.
Most grandparents just shower their graduated grandchildren with hugs, checks, and alumni t-shirts, but my grandfather went the extra mile and gave me cream for a vagina. Thanks, Grandpa!
(Work 'til 4ish.)
For the record, I love the shit out of my grandparents.
Also, this would have been a great way to call me a pussy. However, Grandpa's at that age where calling people pussies just isn't cool anymore. Plus he said "I use this stuff myself" which kind of ruins any "Here's some vaginal cream, you vagina" jokes.
Labels: awkward, ointment, senior citizens
posted by Henry at 7:51 AM
2 Comments:
Cortisone is a steroid. Best not to over use it. Just a heads up.
When did you get a vagina?
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