Four years smarter, I guess
Well, today I graduate with a BA from the University of Michigan. I feel four years smarter.
I came here as a fool, and I left as Batman.
And I'm not throwing my cap in the air, because that thing was freaking expensive, and I don't have the money to waste on fancy graduation caps and name brand cereal.
Also, to all other gradates, Congratulations, and I hope to Christ you're doing something with your lives so you have something to say to the dozens of people who will undoubtedly ask, 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?!"
(Graduating.)
At graduation there were three screens that displayed, in text, what was being read onstage. In addition to the text screens, there was a woman doing sign language. I accepted that text screens were able to coexit with and a woman doing sign language, then got to thinking: Aren't text screens like digital women doing sign language? Why was the woman there if there those screens conveying the same information?
There's a chance that the commencement committee looked at the budget and said, 'Well, shit. We can only afford three of those screens that get words on them.' Then a fresh, new member of the committee piped up and said, 'Ya know, we can probably get one of those ladies.' Someone said, 'One of those ladies with arms?'
'Yeah, and sign language.'
'New guy, you're a genius. Three screens and an arm lady, it is.'
And that's why they just didn't have four text screens.
I came here as a fool, and I left as Batman.
And I'm not throwing my cap in the air, because that thing was freaking expensive, and I don't have the money to waste on fancy graduation caps and name brand cereal.
Also, to all other gradates, Congratulations, and I hope to Christ you're doing something with your lives so you have something to say to the dozens of people who will undoubtedly ask, 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?!"
(Graduating.)
At graduation there were three screens that displayed, in text, what was being read onstage. In addition to the text screens, there was a woman doing sign language. I accepted that text screens were able to coexit with and a woman doing sign language, then got to thinking: Aren't text screens like digital women doing sign language? Why was the woman there if there those screens conveying the same information?
There's a chance that the commencement committee looked at the budget and said, 'Well, shit. We can only afford three of those screens that get words on them.' Then a fresh, new member of the committee piped up and said, 'Ya know, we can probably get one of those ladies.' Someone said, 'One of those ladies with arms?'
'Yeah, and sign language.'
'New guy, you're a genius. Three screens and an arm lady, it is.'
And that's why they just didn't have four text screens.
Labels: disabilities, graduation
posted by Henry at 7:50 AM
2 Comments:
That's a sad story.
Three is the loneliest number that you'll ever do.
Two can be as bad as three, its the loneliest number since the number three.
I can sign the alphabet. Congrats on graduating. Wait. I mean.. "Congratulations." I suppose for an event this grand, I could spell out the whole word for you. That's the most you're going to get out of me though.
^^ Except for the rest of the post. I like 3 screens and an arms lady though. Has a nice ring to it. Marketable, even.
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