Hot lady starving in the lactose desert

When I was a baby living in Colorado, I hung out with another baby named Danielle. Danielle's mom and my mom would hang out and do mom stuff, so Danielle and I hung out and took naps, drank from our ba-ba's, generally did baby stuff.

19 years later I was in Colorado for the summer selling fireworks and I saw Danielle again. Turns out she was an aspiring model, which is a big change from the last time I saw her and she just sat around and shit herself all day.

One night we hung out and she showed me her modeling portfolio. In every picture she looked emaciated and sad, like the photographer was saying things like, 'You're tired, baby. You're stranded in a desert and it's so hot and you're exhausted. But what's this? The desert is suddenly made of cheese. And oh no, you're lactose intolerant, so you can't eat all that tasty cheese. Look hungry and helpless, baby, 'cause you're in a cheese desert.'

(work.)

Needless to say, I told her she looked great and hoped she'd have sex with me. Instead of engaging in Hot Post-Diapers Reunion Coitus with me, she and her sister smoked pot in the front seats of her car while I sat in the back seat in silence. I haven't talked to Danielle since.

True story.