Poorly following in Clarence's footsteps

While in Massachusetts for Clarence Birdseye Day, I saw the unveiling of Clarence's portrait. After the dedication ceremony, we all went out to lunch and I ended up sitting near the woman who painted my great grandfather's portrait.

We chatted during the meal, then toward the end, she handed me her card. My mother, wanting to return the gesture, took out a business card I had printed out for free. It says 'Henry Birdseye: Total Badass' and then there's the address to the blog.

'This is for you, if it's appropriate' my mom said to the painter, who didn't hear her completely.
'No, Mom, don't give her that. It links to my blog, and that's no good.'
The painter heard this and asked what we were talking about and saw the card in my hand. I couldn't say, 'THIS IS SOMETHING WE'RE NOT GIVING YOU,' so I handed her my stupid card instead.

So I may have gotten a respectable painter from Gloucester to read a blog that features entries such as 'one time I set my dick on fire' and 'man, homeless people bother me.'

Oops.

(work.)

Being the great grandson of a beloved inventor, author, entrepreneur, etc., old people kept asking me what I'm doing to follow in Clarence's footsteps. Here are some possible responses I could have given , followed by why I did not share them.

• "I got a bachelor's degree in psychology." - I know some people whose dogs have a bachelor's degree in psychology, and they're not even smart dogs.
  
• "I have a blog that I update every couple of days." - Old people do not know what blogs are. They might think I'm saying "I have a log that I update" because old people usually don't know what blogs are. I'd have to say "No, no, I'm not updating part of a tree. It's a bunch of internet words that mostly my friends read. Scientific facts? Oh no, it's just a collection of filth I couldn't even mention in my resume."
  
• "I repair computers at a university from which I graduated last year." - Old people don't want to hear that the great grandson of a famous inventor graduated college only to work full time replacing keyboards on which people have spilled Diet Coke.
• "I ate the front half of a skunk." - Actually, this one would have worked pretty well. Too bad it's a lie.
  

(In case you're just joining us, Clarence is quoted as saying, "The front half of a skunk is excellent." Sure, that's weird, but I think his quirkiness is justified because he's the reason why you can own a freezer.)