Just don't kill yourself.

Valentine's Day is now this big, awkward elephant in the room. You may say hi to your friends as you would on a normal day, but you both know deep down that somewhere in your casual conversation, you're going to have to wish the other person a Happy Valentine's Day.

And it may be ok the first time, maybe the second time, too. Then by about 3pm you're just going to snap.
'Hey Carol.' 'Oh hey Henry.' 'How are you?' 'I'm swell, and you?' 'Couldn't be better.' (pause) then I say 'GOD DAMN IT, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, YOU SLUT.'

And you're going to be asked about your plans, too, so make something really happy up to make everyone else sad. 'Oh, me and my lover are going on a PRE-honeymoon. and you, guy-holding-a-noose?'

I'm off to class, but don't let the V-Day get you down.

(Just don't kill yourself.)

Holidays make it so you're considered rude if you talk to somebody and don't wish them a particularly happy day. I pointed this out for Valentine's Day. George Washington's Birthday, you're next, motherfucker.

Washington's Birthday is Feb. 20. Buy your card now before they jack up the prices and you get fucked.