Trick women into banging lawn mannequins

You know how in that old Axe commercial the lady would spray the man-dummy with Axe body spray and then seconds later she pressed her body up to the dummy because the Axe made her horny? I can only assume that after the cameras stopped rolling, she had sex with that dummy.

So my plan is to put a dummy in my front lawn, then douse it in Axe. Soon women will start having sex with it, and I can throw a big net over them and drag them down the street, offering one to each of my single friends.

I'd do this because I'm a nice enough guy to trick women into banging lawn mannequins just so my single friends can have deodorant-inspired sexual intercourse with strangers.

Commercials are stupid. I'm going to a lab meeting.

(Showering gives you ridiculous thoughts.)

Saturday afternoon, a random woman gave me a free sample container of some snake peel-scented Axe body wash. I normally don't accept soaps from strangers, but I decided I'd accept it as long as I could finally have a body wash that would make me smell like everyone's favorite smell, which is that of a snake's skin that has peeled off. Who doesn't get wistful for their childhood summers at Grandpa's Snake Farm when they get a whiff of some snake peel? Certainly not me, because I not only know what snake peel smells like, but I love it, too.

How long has snake peelbeen an acceptable smell for a person? I just got used to Right Guard making my armpits smell like "sport", but now my body can smell like snake peel? That's ridiculous.