Girls Gone Wild DVDs

My 12 year old brother stole my Girls Gone Wild DVDs. This worries me. Not that he'd steal porn, but that he'd steal that porn.

I mean, porn objectifies women. Fine, that's what it does, you watch people bone, you make a mess, endorphins rush, you go to bed. I can accept that.

However, GGW makes women not just objects, but sad objects. They're easily tricked, like the GGW camera crew could find dumb spring break girls and do that trick where you pretend to pull quarters out of someone's ear. The girls clap and giggle and then take off all their clothes and get a t-shirt for it. Then they put on that t-shirt and get sprayed with a hose.

Every hour my brother watches GGW he needs to watch an hour of the opposite. Like, hot lawyer porn. A woman wins an important court case, buys her own dinner because she's independent, then bangs a soccer team.

(Bed.)

True Story: Girls Gone Wild will make you overdose on boobs in about five minutes. I used to consider myself a boob aficionado, then on that sixth minute of Girls Gone Wild where yet another generic harlot shows you her cans, I was craving a book.

Or at least some penetration shots.