Macs vs PCs

I think one reason why Macs aren't very appealing to the unwashed masses if the fact that they're kinda feminine. Smooth, white, shiny, endorsed by techno artist/sensitive male Moby.

You take a look at PC towers and they're big, they're loud, they emit a blue glow. Men, they're just cyber-extensions of our dongs (admit it; you want a big blue glowing dong). Ladies, you just don't know any better. PCs have been the standard for so long that sure, you got one so you could type into the fancy technology box and check your emails all day. But did you know that if you got a Mac you wouldn't need me to get all the goddamn spyware off your computer? You'd get less popups and more shine. So ladies, get a Mac: because did you ever really want something electric, black, and noisy in your room that didn't live in your sock drawer? (I am, of course, referencing your PC and your gigantic vibrator, you sluts).

(Work.)