Vampire conspiracy email

I've made a huge mistake.

Yesterday I received word that my cog psy lab has been apparently burning people with the EEG. In response to this, my daring professor offered his own head up for experimentation by volunteering to get connected to the EEG.

Because I missed lab meeting on Monday, I sent Prof Gehring an email with my thoughts on the issue:
'My theory is that the gray goo we put on the caps is made with holy water and that our subjects have been vampires. They put on the caps, then oh no, their flesh is burning, and they blame US? WE aren't undead beings that walk the earth and feed on the blood of the living. I think those bat-people need to take their complaints elsewhere.'

This man is an esteemed cognitive psychologist and I emailed him about about Draculas. I have a feeling I'm going to be officially kicked out of science very soon.

(class.)

If you think that if you pioneer your own cognitive theory that you're incapable of receiving vampire conspiracy emails, then you are wrong.

For those of you nerds who watch movies with director's commentary, here is an alternate ending for that away message:

'But until then, I'm going to my class where we learn about video games and piss our parents off for wasting tuition money on Pac Man academics.

(Waka waka waka.)'

And, like an alternate ending, it is boring. Still, the fact remains that my mom fucking hates the fact that I have a class on video games this semester. Well, I hate the fact that she dated my 7th grade math teacher, so I guess we're even now, aren't we?