Second alarm versus vomiting

I was sitting here, wondering what I write my away message about, when I got to thinking about what would happen if I turned off my alarm at 6am, set another alarm for a little later (but set it for pm instead of am), then slept in and didn't get to work at 8am.

I figured I'd call into work and say I was throwing up all morning, but I don't like to lie, so I thought about making myself vomit into the toilet upstairs so that when I called in sick and talked about throwing up I could do it honestly.

Then I started gagging in my chair just thinking about the scenario, getting ready for tomorrow morning's hypothetical vomit party, when I figured:
Maybe I'll just set a second alarm right now.

If I can take a mental detour that ends with me throwing up early (as opposed to on time, which is somehow much better), it's not worth it. Second alarm it is.

(Bed.)

This happens almost every morning. I set an alarm that's overambitious, giving myself two hours to get ready for work. Ideally, I'd wake up, eat breakfast, do some situps, take a shower, then leave for work early.

To date, I've never done this.

Instead, I wake up, set an alarm giving me another 30 minutes of sleep, then I wake up, set another alarm, then finally wake up an hour before work, shower, put pants on, and go to work hungry and running a little bit late.

This would, of course, be fixed if I would just get fired.