What "It's Complicated" really means

I think having the option of putting 'It's Complicated' as your relationship status on Facebook is a clever idea. As a general status, it can effectively broadcast to the internet that you may not be ready to meet new people.

However, unless you're using it ironically, I don't understand why you'd put 'It's Complicated with (actual person with which it is complicated).' Isn't that saying, 'HEY INTERNET, MY RELATIONSHIP IS HAVING PROBLEMS'? Why share that?

While we're on the subject of Facebook letting people share too much, you should also have to put down why you broke up with somebody. 'Mary broke up with Pete because he ass banged her best friend.' or 'Derek broke up with Sarah because she farted in bed.' People need questions answered, and they should be answered honestly and awkwardly.

And I think Facebook should talk about ass banging more.

(nap.)

If you want the internet to know that your personal life is having problems but you don't want to show it through Facebook, you can always go with something just as good:

Sad lyrics in your away message!

Here are some tips:

1. Try to find a song that talks about the way things used to be.
2. Find lyrics that rhyme "heart" with "torn apart" if at all possible, and
3. for the love of Christ, italicize your font and put it on a colored background.
4. Lastly, delude yourself into thinking that nobody will notice how openly sad you are. Think other people will think "That person is just listening to music" and ignore the fact that all evidence should make them think "That person is having an emotional breakdown in addition to really bad taste in music."

If you follow those simple steps, soon all your friends will know how sad you are and maybe they'll all tell you how great you are. Or stop calling. Not my problem, really.

Good luck!