Young love tastes like mustard

8th grade was a dumb year.

I had a crush on a girl in one of my classes (the girl with the biggest boobs, coincidentally) and I showed my love for her by writing 'I <3 (her initials)' in mustard whenever I made a sandwich.

This meant that not only had I found a dumber way to express myself than poetry, but I was putting a shitload of mustard on my sandwiches, too.

This meant that every sandwich I made tasted like mustard because I liked some girl in my class that won the pubertal lottery. That's stupid.

(bed.)

I wonder how that girl would feel if she knew that I'd been ruining my sandwiches because of her.

Me: "Hey, when I make sandwiches, I write your initials in them. In mustard."
Her: "Why?"
Me: "Because I like you."
Her: "Why didn't you just tell me instead?"
Me: "I really, really like mustard."
Her: "Really?"
Me: "No."