Hot dog disagreement (I'm moving to Chicago)

I move to Chicago on Wednesday. I'll share contact information once I'm settled.

I hear a lot of, 'So...Chicago, huh? You like those Chicago hot dogs?' Normally when people are making casual conversation with you you need to agree with them or disagree in a funny way, but so far all I've thought of is, 'No, I don't like Chicago hot dogs.' Then both of us will just stand there in hot dog disagreement. We might talk about hot dogs a little more, or one of us will walk away. Either way, I fucked up my end of the Chicago hot dog discussion.

My neighbor Dave took a unique approach to casual conversation when he heard about my move. 'Chicago, huh? That city fucking sucks. I hate it.'

What do I say to that?

'Yes, friendly neighbor, my future home is in a shitty place, and I moved there because I suck. It was nice talking with you, now I'm going to go into the garage and eat a bag of horse turds because I make bad decisions.'

(errands.)

I spent a couple minutes thinking about whether it'd be funnier if I was eating a bag of regular turds or eating a bag of horse turds. I eventually settled on horse turds because I decided that someone going out and actively looking for horse turds to put in a bag and bring home was funnier than someone just collecting turds they had lying around the house.