Vegans and turducken

Yesterday at 6:54pm, a vegan sensed danger. He grabbed the arm of the other vegan on the bean bag next to him and looked into the distance.
'Something horrible is about to happen,' he said as a single tear rolled down his face.

'Turducken's done!' yelled Prashant, pulling from the oven a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey wrapped in bacon.

The other vegan's right arm went numb and the first vegan's nose starting bleeding. 'What's happening?' asked the first vegan.

'Everybody grab a slice!' yelled Prashant to his guests. 'Plenty of turducken for everybody! Oh, and there's sausage stuffing between each of the birds.'

Both vegans said nothing, because by now their heads had exploded.

(work.)

While Prashant happily served up the turducken like a good host, I couldn't help but feel like somewhere vegans knew what we were doing. Kind of like when the Death Star blew up Alderaan and Obi-Wan Kenobi said, "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."

Only this was different. Some vegans down the street winced when Prashant cut the turducken and said, "Something terrible is happening. A bunch of fatasses are eating three birds wrapped in a pig."

Turducken is Russianly stackable food

I'm about to eat turducken. That's a bird inside a bird inside a bird. If I didn't know better, I'd assume a dish with this many levels is Russian.

As Russianly stackable as turducken is, I'm guessing it's American. It probably happened like this:
'We're having a turkey for Thanksgiving. What else should we have?'
'Duck.'
'No, that wouldn't work. Our table's not big enough.'
'Put it in the turkey.'
'That's absurd.'
'Not as absurd as the chicken I want to put inside the duck.'
'Okay, funny man, what goes inside the chicken, then?'
'A smaller bird... but what's smaller than a chicken? Hey, how about Marshmallow Peeps?'
'I'd hate you if that didn't sound delicious.'

'Hey, looks like Henry's running out of ideas.'
'Yes. Yes he is.'

(Turducken.)

I've provided a visual aid to help everyone understand what a Turducken is:

Looks appetizing, huh?

If there's any time in your life to think you're a failure, it's while you're searching the internet for the very best picture of a Marshmallow Peep. I went through about 10 pages of Peep-related search pages all the while thinking, "I graduated from college and now I'm doing this?!"