Pepper spray for Valentine's Day

I got my girlfriend pepper spray for Valentine's Day.

I think that's a thousand times better than flowers or chocolates or anything else that dies or goes to your hips within a couple weeks. Pepper spray says, 'Don't get assaulted, because I love you.' And the 'I love you' part drives it home, taking her mind off the fact that you just gave her a weapon for Valentine's Day

Also, thirty minutes with Photoshop and Google images yielded this sentimental gem.


You know you're loved when you receive a gift that can make a would-be attacker fall to his knees and claw at his own eyes. Beat that, heart-shaped box of chocolates.

(Bed.)

Next holiday she's getting karate lessons.