Love note homework

Hey guys, you ever receive a love note from your girlfriend? You're flattered at first, then something happens.

You think, 'Ah, fuck. I just got a love note.'

Love notes are fucking hard to write. You know you have to return the favor, but it's going to be really hard.

Girls are much better at using words to write about their feelings. Some guys don't even have feelings, and now we have to write about them? Shit.

And love notes from your girlfriend are usually incredibly sweet, and before you even finish reading them you're brainstorming ideas about how you'll write your return love note. Only she's already said every sweet thing possible.

I've debating writing back with,
'Dear Amy,
Right back atcha!.
-Henry'

(Library.)

That love letter is currently sitting on my desk. Every time I look at it, I feel like it's taunting me. "Come on, asshole. Top this, I dare you." And I end up thinking, "You know what? Fuck you, love letter."

Of all the things someone could say to a love letter, I end up with "Fuck you." All because I suck at expressing myself. Can I write about farting, Batman, homeless people, the human taint, and igniting my genitals with hot sauce? Sure. But can I write a letter to a pretty girl? Not at all.