Free food, free shirts, free agendas

Nutella? Goofy alien finger puppets? A V for Vendetta t-shirt? Keg root beer?

Today's winner is Free Shit. Thanks, Goodness Day.

Today's losers are those LaRouche activists who yelled at people who didn't want to hear their anti-Cheney agendas.

Keep whining, guys. Cheney will change whatever it is he's doing no matter how many pamphlets you hand to strangers.

I don't mean to sound superficial, but the worst part of being hassled by these people is that they're ugly. If they were at least marginally attractive women, people could at least debate whether or not they'd do them while they spouted hyperpolitical nonsense.

If you're missing teeth, maybe you should consider writing for more attractive people.

(Lunch.)