Polite beastiality discussion, beer pong

Last time I went to one of the Church St. girls' barbeque parties, I got drunk and told Jenna in graphic detail exactly how and why she regularly has sex with horses. I did this over a game of beer pong and many, many people overheard our polite beastiality discussion.

The problem with this is not that I talked about interspecies sex on a friend's front lawn. The problem is that last time I set a precedent.

When I show up tonight, the ladies are going to expect me to become intoxicated and verbally abusive within a half hour. They'll be all, 'Henry, what animals do I have sex with? Drink this bad beer and tell me about it while you throw ping pong balls into cups.'

So, I'm doing that, I guess.

(BBQ.)

Beer pong is just an awful bastardization of that cups game on The Bozo Show. The Bozo Show cups game ("The Grand Prize Game", I believe it was called) had kids from the audience dropping ping pong balls into increasingly distanced cups and then clapping their hands as they won bigger and better prizes. If the kid missed, a man in a clown suit would play it off like it was no big deal and the show would continue.

I think beer pong is kind of like that, only instead of winning a bike or the Skip-Bo card game, you get to brag about your wicked beer pong skillz. Losers, rather than being silently ushered offstage, get insulted by people who take great pride in throwing ping pong balls into plastic cups. Both winners and losers get to drink shitty beer.