Sub shifts and dog parts up for grabs

Today my fellow consultants received the following email:

"Hey consultants!

Who likes money? Assuming Sites doesn't hire communists, I assume that everybody reading this likes money (even you!).

Tomorrow (Thursday) from 3:30pm to 7:30pm, fortune awaits thee, as I will bequeath unto you four - count 'em - FOUR Angell consulting hours. Imagine all the stuff you can buy with the money you'll make at this sub shift. Candy, hats, office supplies, and...

Oh! Do you like puppies? Well...um...they're really expensive, so you could spend your 30+ sub shift dollars on...part of one. A leg, maybe.

Do you want a puppy leg? Take my sub shift and find yourself one step closer to part of a dog!

-Henry"

(bed.)

Sometimes I'll think about taking off work, but then I'll stop because I don't have the creative energies necessary to tell my coworkers that certain hours are available for the taking. Most people send out emails that say "Hey! Angell shift open next Tuesday at 1:30. -Scott"

I'm pretty sure I just sold detached dog appendages to my coworkers.