Cannibals from the future with heat rays

It's so hot I'm pretty much roasting in my own juices.

That got me thinking that maybe a bunch of cannibals got ahold of a heat ray, and they're using it to slow cook the Midwest so that later they can run in and eat it. However, heat rays don't exist yet, and cannibals aren't common, so naturally this is the work of cannibals from the future.

I don't know what the future holds, aside from hungry cannibals and a ray that can make me sweat through shirts and pants. Based on that information alone, it's pretty safe to say that at least we don't have to worry about those damn robots.

(sweating in bed.)

You know, the robots that enslave mankind in the next couple centuries. What, you don't own a time machine?