Candy for the scientist

I have a meeting with one of the most respected cognitive psychologists in the country in 15 minutes.

Should I put on cologne or something? Like, I work in his lab already, but that means I do bitch work for his grad students. Would cologne be a good idea? Should I bring him candy? I mean, not wrapped, but keep it in my pocket and then just offer it to him?

'Hey man, science is cool and everything, but do you like Mr. Goodbars? How 'bout a Skittle?'

But you don't offer one of the top professors of cognitive psychology just one Skittle. You bring a whole goddamn bag of 'em. And then you look like an asshole, bringing a dude a big bag of candy for a science meeting.

I guess I just don't get cognitive psych.

(Meeting.)

Bill Gehring is kind of a badass. He's pioneered his own theory. I don't even know what I'm doing next year. I feel like I should eat his brain so I can get his thoughts and be super smart, too. After I get out of prison for eating a man's brains.