Myspace-lookin' jerks and Cojum Dip
Tonight I saw some of the most myspace-lookin' jerks at the battle of the bands that featured Cojum Dip. One band used the lyrics 'That's right, girl / you're too sweet for me.' And they did so unironically.
The tragedy is that women wanted to bang these dudes. Badly. These guys wore their vaginas on their sleeves and women, instead of saying, 'icky, those leak' were all like 'OMG I crave girly-guy dong.'
When I rise up and destroy the emo kids, there will not only be justice, there will be just us. And it will be awesome.
(Bed.)
Because I love spreading hate like honey on a stripper's ass (I tried Nutella, but it looked like she'd just shat herself), the awful, awful band in question is called The Second Guess, and it is impossible to simultaneously like their music and be able to wipe your own ass. So if you hear this music and start tapping your toe, chances are you're wearing a diaper.
Cojum Dip, on the other hand, is trying new things with music. Sometimes it involves accordions, bagpipes, and the occasional Mega Man III cover; other times, there's a lot of hard metal screaming. Videos of them in action here. Innovation, variety, and Mexican wrestling masks. Rock out.
Unfortunately, The Second Guess placed in the top 3 of the concert because every fat, emo high school chick within 50 miles showed up to sing along to the bad music while silently thinking about hamburgers. Cojum Dip fell 4 votes short of the top 3, which means any of you Ann Arborites reading this need to go to the next Cojum Dip show. And don't give me any of that "but I have homework" crap. Cojum Dip is better than reading. It says so on their t-shirts (or so it should).
EDIT: Due to a fuckup made by the concert staff, the top four bands will move on, meaning Cojum Dip shall ride again. Details later.
The tragedy is that women wanted to bang these dudes. Badly. These guys wore their vaginas on their sleeves and women, instead of saying, 'icky, those leak' were all like 'OMG I crave girly-guy dong.'
When I rise up and destroy the emo kids, there will not only be justice, there will be just us. And it will be awesome.
(Bed.)
Because I love spreading hate like honey on a stripper's ass (I tried Nutella, but it looked like she'd just shat herself), the awful, awful band in question is called The Second Guess, and it is impossible to simultaneously like their music and be able to wipe your own ass. So if you hear this music and start tapping your toe, chances are you're wearing a diaper.
Cojum Dip, on the other hand, is trying new things with music. Sometimes it involves accordions, bagpipes, and the occasional Mega Man III cover; other times, there's a lot of hard metal screaming. Videos of them in action here. Innovation, variety, and Mexican wrestling masks. Rock out.
Unfortunately, The Second Guess placed in the top 3 of the concert because every fat, emo high school chick within 50 miles showed up to sing along to the bad music while silently thinking about hamburgers. Cojum Dip fell 4 votes short of the top 3, which means any of you Ann Arborites reading this need to go to the next Cojum Dip show. And don't give me any of that "but I have homework" crap. Cojum Dip is better than reading. It says so on their t-shirts (or so it should).
EDIT: Due to a fuckup made by the concert staff, the top four bands will move on, meaning Cojum Dip shall ride again. Details later.
posted by Henry at 12:13 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home