Myspace.com: facebook for dropouts and other folk

The thing about Facebook is that to join, you have to go to college. Doesn't matter if it's a good one. Harvard and Oakland Community College are both on there. Which means that if you're not on Facebook, you didn't go to college.

And when I'm looking for old friends from elementary school or whatever and I search and they're not on Facebook, you know what I conclude from that?

They're dead. All my friends from 6th grade are dead because they aren't a member of facebook.com. I'm sure they're on Myspace.com, which is like a facebook that includes dumb kids, too. Well, just kids in general. And bands. And celebrities.

Hell, my 12 year old brother is on myspace. For me, if my little brother does anything, that takes it down a few pegs. He better join facebook after high school.

(Class.)

This away message proved to me that my friends are nice enough to correct me about dumb crap like there being a Facebook for high schoolers.

I understand that there's a Facebook for high school kids, but I refuse to acknowledge its existence.

You have to earn Facebook, people. College Facebook is your proof that you got into a place of higher education. Myspace is your proof that you have a working internet connection. Also, could we get more people playing crappy music on their Myspace pages? Because I want bad music to be guaranteed with every page of that damn community so I have good reason to never join.