Exercise, ladies

While making small talk at the Cojum Dip concert on Sunday, it was discovered that a woman there not only went to the Dirty Show in Detroit (an art show dedicated to filthy sex pieces), but that she knew my father, too.

So I told my dad this and he got really excited. 'Wow! A woman knew my name! That's just awesome! What was her name?'
I didn't remember her name, so he asked what she looked like. I waffled around for a couple minutes before settling on the fact that she was kinda fat.

Well, that killed the excitement. 'Oh yeah, I know who that is.' No more questions after that.

The moral of the story is EXERCISE, LADIES (and guys, too, but you're ok if you at least have money).

(Work, class, beer, SMASH BROS TOURNAMENT.)

Also, before you internet strangers go assuming my parents are in some freaky open marriage arrangement, know that they're divorced, which is just about the opposite of freaky.

Also also, you big ladies don't have to exercise. Just get some distinguishing characteristic to take the attention away from your huge ass. This can include: a mole, a bald spot, a wooden tooth, a hump in your back, or a penis.