Fruitcake lady

Fruitcake Lady

You need to watch this old woman. She is a gem.

When you're old, you can say whatever the hell you want, because everyone's afraid you're going to die and nobody wants to call you an idiot right before you pass away. People could look like assholes at your funeral.

'Yeah, Great Aunt Margerie was a sweetheart.'
'Didn't you call her a crazy bitch and then she died?'
'Shit.'
(pause)
'She is going to haunt the shit out of you.'

So keep on telling it like it is, old woman. Screw on the floor, next to the air conditioner.

(Livonia.)

I need to learn how to draw, 'cause webcomics will make a hell of a lot more internet money than text. People don't want to read "she is going to haunt the shit out of you." They want a cartoon character with big anime hair saying it. So when I stay poor, it's not because I don't have ideas. It's because I can't draw anything other than smiley faces and penises.