Psychics love television

One of my aunts believes in psychics, so she got my mom and grandma to go to this guy who knows the future. Well, unfortunately for him, he gives people audio tapes so they can share their readings with their cynical children. Here are some gems from my mom's reading:

'Do you know a Walter...or a Wally?'
'No.'
(pause)
'Oh.'

'What does your husband do?'
'I'm not married.'

'Are you going on a cruise?'
'No, I'm not.'

'Do you know a Felix?'
'No.'
(pause)
'Did you ever watch that show, Felix the Cat? That was a good show.'

Great segue, guy. Just bring up a TV show whenever you can't continue your lie. I'm surprised he didn't talk about the Love Boat after my mom told him she's not going on a cruise.

At least with that trick, he can let people know that while he may be a bad psychic, he's watched a lot of TV.

(Bed.)

Here's another idea that wouldn't fit in the AIM away message window:
If my mom wasn't wearing a wedding ring, then why did he ask her what her husband does? This guy not only sucks at telling the future, but he sucks at telling the present, too.

I spent a decent amount of time Easter Sunday making fun of the psychic guy in front of my aunt, who refers to him by name ("Rod", the most mystical of trucker names).

"I'm picturing someone with hair. Do you know someone with hair? Or maybe they're balding. I see that they live in a house. Or an apartment. Do you know anyone like this?"

I read about a study where they showed people a list that consisted of both male and female names. The female names belonged to famous women, while the male names belonged to just random dudes. Subjects said that there were more females than males on the list, but in actuality there was an equal amount of both. This is because people are more likely to remember stuff that is the most relevant to them.

Knowing this, I made it my duty to point out every Walter and Felix in that dickhead's reading. While he talked about a "sensitive male who is about to go through some changes" and my mom "ooh"ed and "aah"ed at his accuracy, I was saying, "Hmm, maybe that's Wally. You can take him on that cruise with your husband."